


A Correspondence Between Lovers

by littleblue_eyedbird



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Chapters with NSFW content are marked with an asterisk, F/M, Falling In Love, Love, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Secret Relationship, Short'n'sweet chapters, Shy Lavellan courting Solas, Solas and Lavellan exchange notes and letters over their time in the Inquisition, Solas being the helpless romantic fool he is, Updates Daily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-19 07:41:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 8,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14232516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleblue_eyedbird/pseuds/littleblue_eyedbird
Summary: The following is a collection of letters exchanged between the Herald of Andraste, Inquisitor Lavellan and her paramour during the events of the Inquisition. They have been collected to be preserved and archived.-Divine Victoria





	1. Chapter 1

Solas,

 

I found this in Val Royeaux and thought it might be of… “interest”... to  you. It contains research findings by the Imperial Chantry about the Fade’s connection with magic. Let me know your critiques, if you get the chance. Perhaps over tea?

 

Ellana

 

_ *the note is attached to an old, worn copy of the  _ Tome of Arcane Technique


	2. Chapter 2

Inquisitor,

 

Thank you for thinking of me. I have already read several chapters, and I must say Tevinter does disappoint--let me clarify that reflects nothing on you and your selection for me. I am enjoying it simply because you sought it out. My disappointment lies with the Imperial Chantry. Tevinter may the most advanced society in regards to the arcane, but what it lacks is telling that the Magisters have so much more to learn and unlock. Hopefully new attempts are less… egregious... than their previous ones. I digress, forgive me. 

 

Conversing in person would be an afternoon well spent, though preferably over coffee if you would not mind. When would be an agreeable time for you?

Solas

 

P.S. Why the secrecy of note passing? You could just as easily approach me in the rotunda.


	3. Chapter 3

Solas,

 

No need for titles here, please, call me Ellana. 

 

I’m glad to hear you are enjoying the gift! I figured it would get you fired up a bit. I’m fascinated to hear what you think! How about tomorrow? My presence is being requested by Josephine for some dignitary meeting but after that I believe I will have the rest of the day free! (At last!)

 

I have a difficult time understanding magic, and any opportunity to learn more would be greatly appreciated! Give me a sword and I can show you twenty different ways to stab someone but magic, It’s a lost art to me. To think that once a long time ago all of our people possessed it… 

 

Well, a girl can dream.

 

Ellana

 

P.S. Because secrets are exciting.


	4. Chapter 4

_ *a drop of ink stained the page, as if the quill hovered over the parchment a little too long before writing _

 

Ellana,

 

Fired up? Are you teasing me? Tomorrow afternoon it is, I look forward to it.

 

Magic came to the elves as easy as breathing, Lethallan. The spells our People could cast were beautiful and glorious, some requiring centuries to finish. Their effects lasted even longer, and the song could be heard for miles. If only you could have seen, the way I have in the Fade. You would be left breathless. If only one could go back and alter the past to prevent its loss…

 

A man can dream. 

 

Solas

 

P.S. Secrets are dangerous.


	5. Chapter 5

Ellana,

 

I quite enjoyed our time together yesterday. You are full of such curiosity and willingness to learn that I have not encountered in some time. Pardon me if I came off too eager or talked too much. Unbeknownst to some (such as Dorian), I am aware of when I lecture and lose other’s interest. If I was overbearing, let me know. (Cole has just informed me I was not, but I would rather hear it from you).

 

Please do not be a stranger, if you have any follow up questions feel free to drop by the rotunda anytime. I will gladly assist you with anything, Inquisition related or not. 

 

Your friend,

 

Solas


	6. Chapter 6

Solas,

 

I feel the same. Talking with you is like a breath of fresh air, compared to the conversations I am forced to participate in. I can’t help but feel like a blundering mess when I speak with these human nobles, they stare down at me with such distaste it completely unnerves me. My skin crawls with it. But with you, I feel like I can truly be myself. So I thank you for that. 

 

I hope you mean that offer, because I would love to take you up on it.

 

Your friend,

Ellana


	7. Chapter 7

Ellana,

 

I was pleasantly surprised to find a new bookmark upon my desk this morning. I am going to assume it was from you, as I cannot think of anyone I spoke to about losing my previous one. The arcane feather was a nice touch, I am delighted it illuminates the page as I mark it. It truly is the little things in life, is it not?

 

Did you craft this yourself?

 

Solas


	8. Chapter 8

Solas,

 

Nothing ever slips by you, does it? 

 

I collected a few of the feathers while out scouting the Hinterlands last week. I thought they looked beautiful. I could sense they were magic, but I had no idea that they possessed that ability! To light the whole page? That will make night reading a bit easier for you. 

 

And yes, I did. My hands are not good at being idle.

Ellana


	9. Chapter 9

Ellana

 

In my youth, perhaps. You will be hard pressed to find a time something slip by me now. Which while we are on the subject of noticing out of place things, I have a question. Why is it you never ask me to accompany you on your outings, if I may be so bold?

 

Solas


	10. Chapter 10

Solas,

 

I don’t quite know how to convey this. Every time I try to put the words on paper, it just sounds stupid. But… I know you are conducting valuable investigations and research on the Veil for the Inquisition…

 

_ * two lines have been crossed out several times in frustration, and are unlegible _

 

Who am I kidding, I can’t even lie on paper. I am truly doomed if I am ever called upon to play the Game. I pray Josephine and Leliana will cover for me.

 

The truth is, if something were to happen to you while out on a mission… I don’t know how I would live with the guilt. I value our friendship too much to put you at risk simply for selfish reasons. 

 

Forgive me if that was too bold. 

Ellana


	11. Chapter 11

Ellana,

 

Selfish reasons? 

Solas


	12. Chapter 12

Solas,

 

Yes. Wanting your company because I enjoy being with you. Our talks mean a lot to me, and I want to have more of them. Preferably not while in danger. 

Ellana


	13. Chapter 13

Ellana,

 

I am more than capable of holding my own in a fight. I have seen my share of skirmishes and battles over the years to have learned enough about war to survive and protect what I care for. I would enjoy the opportunity to venture along side you, given the chance of course.

 

If you allow me to join you, more frequent talks would be a mutually pleasing side benefit. As I desire to more with you, too.

 

Solas


	14. Chapter 14

_ *The letter is covered in tiny smudges of dirt and appears to have sustained slight water damage _

 

 

Solas,

 

I know we had plans to review that shard piece over dinner upon my return from the Fallow Mire but I am afraid our return will be off schedule. We have run into a small problem with the Avvar. They are not taking to our presence favorably, and there have been a few skirmishes. Not worry though! We are safe, and I am safe--I know you will ask, and I truly am fine. The only injury our party sustained belonged to Dorian. He is nursing a black eye that is going to “ruin his beautiful face”, as he said, and it was because of a loose stone falling from the ceiling while we were making camp after a fight. And Bull bumped his head on a low beam but it barely phased him. But that is the worst of it, I promise. (Look at all the danger I saved you from by asking Dorian to come along instead of you! I tease, I tease, I can see the annoyed expression on your face as you read this right now as clear as if you were standing in front me. The next outing I swear, I will ask you to join me.)

 

The Avvar fascinate me. A human tribe. Strange to think of nomadic shemlen. I would love to learn more about their culture, but it seems the closest I will get is studying the arrows they shoot at me that I manage to block with my shield. (I have collected quite a few intricate arrow heads. I’ll probably craft something with them if I have the time tonight.) 

 

I wish I were back at Skyhold though. The warmth of your rotunda seems like the golden city right about now. I’m covered in mud and gunk, soaked to the bone thanks to the relentless freezing rain in this mire, and I’m exhausted from hearing Dorian complain about it. (I honestly do cherish the man, but creators does he gripe!) What I wouldn’t do to kick my feet up on that couch on the west side of the rotunda wall with a tankard of ale, a good book, and your company. If only--- _Fenedhis_. Corpse in the camp. Looks like that will be all the writing I will get done tonight. Will send this by raven in the morn.

 

Stay warm (and dry),

 

Ellana


	15. Chapter 15

Ellana,

 

I may rest a bit easier now knowing you are well, thank you for the update. Though do not put your safety at risk by distracting yourself by writing to me. I am a patient man. I would much rather see you return home safe and alive than the alternative. (But I am enjoying our letters want them to continue, so I feel I am contradicting myself.)

 

The Avvar are an interesting group of people, though what are they doing in the Fallow Mire? They are native to the Frostbacks. Odd.Their worship of Spirits is an area I would love to get the opportunity to study. Invoking them in battle, selecting them as companions for tribes… I am not quite sure how to feel about it without further knowledge. I have what little this library provides for me, aside from gossip within the inner circle. And the reliability of that is low.

 

I wish you safe travels upon your return, and hope that no more fighting breaks out along the way. I will have a book and the ale ready. Obviously my company is implied.

 

Dareth shiral,

 

Solas


	16. Chapter 16

Solas,

 

I’ll be down again tonight for our weekly book club meeting---it’s what I have been calling our get togethers in my head haha! Though I have a very nice wine to share, compliments of Dorian. His exact words were “Get this out of my sight before I make another regrettable decision”. So I guess it’s up to us to be the responsible wine consuming adults.

 

I cannot wait to see the look on your face when you see the title I selected for tonight. You might try to murder me, or get out hanging out with me since it is a very different...genre then what we usually read together. Cassandra has lent me her copy, but I had to swear to return it the moment we are finished with it, and in the exact same condition it was given. She doesn’t know you are its intended recipient though. 

 

I can barely keep a straight face as I write this. I can’t wait to see you tonight.

 

Deviously,

Ellana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going strong! :D I've been able to post a letter every day since I started!!!


	17. Chapter 17

Ellana,

 

The kiss was impulsive and not thought out I swear. I know I have said it to you, in person, in passing, many times, but I feel the need to clarify again, since you have been avoiding me since. I should have never taken advantage of the situation the way I did, it was uncouth of me.

 

I understand if you want to discontinue our book club meetings, I will not protest. I shouldn’t even be writing this to you in the first place. I am such a fool.

 

I cannot ask forgiveness, as it is earned not asked for.

 

Solas


	18. Chapter 18

Solas,

 

You are not forgiven, as there has been nothing to be forgiven for. 

 

I enjoyed it.

 

I would not have kissed you back the way did if I had felt differently, and I would very much like to kiss you again. 

 

I have not been avoiding you, though I can see how it might appear that way. I have approached the rotunda more times than I can count on two hands to be with you but have been intercepted by Cassandra, Varric, Cullen, the list goes on. Actually Josephine is the biggest culprit but when she vies for my attention I know it is of utmost importance. I am tired of being pulled eight different ways from the moment I wake until the moment I sleep. If only there were more hours in the day, I could visit you for as long as I liked. 

  
  
  


Ellana

 

P.S. And I especially won’t forgive your tongue.


	19. Chapter 19

Ellana,

 

As much as I also desire the chance to claim your kiss, I do not know if it is wise to pursue this. It has been a long time since I… well… it just has been a long time. Moving forward could lead to trouble.

 

Solas

P.S. It no longer wants to be forgiven.


	20. Chapter 20

Solas,

 

I am terrible at all this, so perhaps we are two fools for trying but… I am willing to risk it, if you are.

Ellana

P.S. I’m not blushing you are


	21. Chapter 21

Ellana,

 

I will need some time, to think. There are… considerations I must taken into account. 

 

You could do so much better than I. 

  
  


Solas


	22. Chapter 22

Solas,

 

Stop. Don’t start with that kind of talk. I know you, and I can see all of your strengths, even if you can’t right now. I know what I am getting into, but if you need time, take all you need. The last thing I want to is pressure you into something you are unsure of. 

 

I respect you far too much to do that. 

  
  


Ellana


	23. Chapter 23

Ellana,

 

This letter will, hopefully, reach you by the time we make camp in the Oasis (thank you again for allowing me to join you on this mission). In this moment, I am writing from my desk, watching as you pace around the rotunda, and you have no idea. It is cute, the way your nose crinkles when you are flustered. I can’t help but get distracted by your lips, your mouth is so expressive as you spout off about the dress you are being “sewn into” for the noble’s party Josephine is “forcing” you to attend. Though I doubt she will kidnap you to make sure you arrive, lethallan, as you have just declared. Oh, you have just realized that you will be expected dance. The look of horror on your face… oh no. You’re glaring at me. I swear I am not laughing at you. I swear it.

 

I deserved that smack. 

 

You have left, but I know you will be back. You always come back.

 

Perhaps talk to Josephine about wearing a suit instead of a dress, would that make you feel more comfortable? I imagine you would look stunning, one of royal navy blue would be simply breathtaking on you. Perhaps I will sketch it tonight and show Josephine of my own accord.

 

Dancing is not that daunting, Ellana. If you are expected to lead, it can be a little more nerve wracking but still, the basic steps are easy enough. The song will lead you more than anything, you’ll feel the way you are supposed to move in its rhythm, allow it to guide you. If you are this nervous about it, I will gladly teach you. I promise not to laugh if you step on my feet. We all had to start somewhere. 

 

Solas 

 

P.S. I wonder if your nose will crinkle the same way it did today when you read this letter in camp?


	24. Chapter 24

Solas,

 

You clever bastard. How much planning did this take? I can’t believe you went out of your way to surprise me like this! I can see your stupid grin across the campfire as you pick at your stew. Now I understand why you aren’t sitting next to me, I definitely would have smacked you. And possibly still might if you dare get close enough. Maybe I’ll have Varric switch tents with me so you’ll have to endure my ranting of my embarrassment for at least an hour before you fall asleep.

 

Dancing IS daunting, especially the formal dances. I only know the dalish ones that I learned growing up. They are much different than anything I’ve seen so far living with the Inquisition. I know you are being kind by offering to teach me, but I fear I’ll be hopeless and would not want to let you down. I know I will be such a disappointment to Josephine even with lessons, it won’t matter how beautiful my dress is (or suit). That still wouldn’t save me from myself. Josephine is literally throwing me to the wolves on this one.

 

The suit would have been an amazing idea… if only it had been mentioned sooner. I would be eons more comfortable in pants than frilly skirts. I’m sure by the time we arrive back at Skyhold the dress will already be made though. They took my measurements before we left and told me my fitting would be on the night we return.

 

I can feel you staring at me as I write this, and I am afraid to look up and see you smirking at me. Because I find your lips just as distracting and I might end up doing something foolish if you continue to smile at me like that. 

 

Fenedhis, I shouldn’t have looked up. 

 

Ellana

 

P.S. Dorian keeps teasing me about how red my face is, and it’s all your fault!!


	25. Chapter 25

_***there are, what appears to be, tear stains on the parchment_

 

Solas,

 

_ Thank you, thank you, thank you _ . 

 

I know it was you, it could have only been you. It was your idea. You set all this up. I… I..I can barely think straight, or talk for that matter. I can barely make out what I am writing. When I walked into my quarters a moment ago, I burst into tears at the sight of the beautiful navy suit you described in your letter to be in the Oasis, waiting for me on a mannequin. It’s breathtaking. It’s elegant. I can’t believe you actually designed it and gave it Josephine before we left. I don’t know what to say or how to say it. 

 

This is poor excuse for a thank you, but Josephine will literally kill me if I don’t show back up soon. I am supposed to be in the fitting for the suit you designed now but I didn’t want them to see me cry so made up an excuse and left to find you. I was hoping to express my gratitude to you in person but you are not in your rotunda, so I am quickly scribbling this message and leaving it for you on your desk. 

 

How can I ever thank you? You have no idea what you have done and how much this means to me.

 

If you are not busy tonight, meet me on the northern battlements. Hopefully I am more composed by then.

 

Fondly,

 

Ellana


	26. Chapter 26

Ellana,

 

I knew from the moment I saw you waiting on the battlements, my self-restraint was going to fail. I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist wiping the tears off your cheeks as an excuse to hold you. To feel you throw your arms around me into a welcoming embrace and know the shape and warmth of your body as it pressed to mine. Your touch melts all of my defenses and I cannot help but feel weak when you kiss me like that. 

 

What I want and what I know should be, are at odds with each other. I had asked for more time… but your time is precious. And it would be selfish of me to waste it. I want to make you happy, but I don’t think I am capable of doing so in the long run.

 

But if you say that is me that you want, I will not be able to resist. For my heart is already yours.

 

Solas


	27. Chapter 27

Solas,

 

It is you that I want. 

 

I believe you can make me happy because I already am.  You fear our future. The future scares me too, Solas. But what is most important is what is happening right now, in this moment. I am aware of the pressure that is being placed upon not just me, but all of us. There won’t be a future unless we can defeat this magister and…

 

It reminds me that focusing too much on things that might be isn’t worth sacrificing lives in the moment. 

  
  


So please, be present with me. Live in the moment with me. For this might be all we get.

 

Ellana

P.S. My heart is yours, if you would have it.


	28. Chapter 28

Ellana,

 

I would have it.

Solas


	29. Chapter 29

Ellana,

 

I hope that when you find this letter it gives you strength. You are a much better dancer than you give yourself credit for. Trust yourself, and breathe Vhenan. If it helps, pretend you are dancing with me in the rotunda, just like we’ve been practicing. I believe in you.

 

I must say, I will be jealous of the noble who gets to dance with you in your new suit. I wish I could have gotten the chance. But seeing you in it after your final fitting is a memory I will cherish. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. 

 

I’m working on another surprise for you. You actually being away will give me the time I need to complete it without spoiling any details. It will be complete by the time you get back, so I feel comfortable teasing you about it in this letter. I hope it gives you something to look forward to upon your return. 

 

Yours most affectionately,

 

Solas


	30. Chapter 30

Solas,

 

It did. I was delighted to find it packed with my suit. I swear I found it right as I needed it most. This evening has been… a whirlwind! The noble’s estate has sprawling gardens with beautiful sculpted fountains. I only tried to sneak out once, I swear! Cassandra caught me and promised she wouldn’t tell Josephine. They had food from all over, including Antiva. Antivan food is delicious.

 

So many people attended this gathering, people from places I had never heard of, and I have traveled quite a bit in my lifetime! People were fighting for my attention, for a chance to speak with me. Thank the creators I had Josie glued to my side--aside from when I attempted to sneak out. She saved me from many a blunderings. 

 

And I hate to admit it and inflate your ego, but you were right about the dancing. It wasn’t as nearly of a terrible experience as I expected it to be. The fast paced dances were fun and I was able to keep up with almost no problems (no toes were stepped on so I would consider that an accomplishment). The suit fit perfectly, and I felt like I could actually breath and move as if it were naturally a part of me. I will forever be in your debt for this. I also am never giving this suit up. I could tell Cassandra was a twinge jealous. She wore her armor all night.

 

But despite the amazing food and entertainment, I would trade it all to be back with you. You are the only person I would want to dance all night with. If we ever hold a ball like this at Skyhold, I expect you to save every dance for me.

 

Lovingly,

 

Ellana

 

P.S. Another surprise?! Solas! Now I’m going to be dying of curiosity the entire trip back. Now I have an excuse to bring you back something!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the 3 days of no letters! My best friend had a (medical) emergency on Friday so I spent the weekend with her <3


	31. Chapter 31

Solas,

 

You have simply outdone yourself. I write this to you from my desk in my quarters surrounded by the frescos you’ve painted on the walls. How did you know exactly what I wanted when I didn’t even know what I was missing? The trees make the room finally feel like  _home._ The giant crystalline spirals that peek through the branches.... what do they symbolize? Is it a particular forest you’ve created for me on the stone? How long did this take you? You must have been painting the whole time I was away! 

I love it, it is simply breath taking and I couldn’t have asked for a better surprise. Will you join me in my chambers later this evening? I want to give you a gift, it is nothing compared to what you have created for me but this token of affection pleases you as much as the frescos have pleased me.

With love,

Ellana

p.s.  I  did not realize  it at first, it took me laying down in my bed content to just have a moment to myself in this forest of mine to notice the ceiling. You painted the sky for me. I can trace out the constellations with my finger from my bed, though it will be hard through my tears. Does your kindness know no bounds?


	32. Chapter 32

Ellana,

 

I must confess, I have often day dreamed of the way I might kiss you again. Against my better judgment I let myself indulge in these intimate fantasies. But last night was no fantasy, your lips were real as they pressed against mine, your heart beat was real against palm as I held you on that balcony, you are real... I know remaining professional would be for the best but I cannot come up with a reason to justify it. I don't wish to waste your time, but if it is my time you seek than you shall have it while we are together here, for you have my heart and I have no desire for its return. 

 

The sheer delight you emanated last night over the frescos is a memory I will cherish forever. 

 

Lovingly,

 

Solas

p.s. The quill holder you crafted for me sits on my desk filled to the brim with the quills you've made. Dorian has made several comments about where I keep acquiring unique magically enhanced artifacts. I believe he is jealous.


	33. Chapter 33

Solas,

Anytime you want to make those fantasies a reality do not hesitate to find me. You are always welcome in my quarters. I could kiss you all night if you let me. Please let me. My time is your time, and I want to spend it all with you. You make everything seem brighter in my life with the Inquisition. 

Love,

Ellana

p.s.  To me it seems like you are enjoying his jealousy. I guess I will just have to keep crafting stuff for you then.


	34. Chapter 34*

Ellana,

 

I hope the weather is treating you better than it is I. Never have I been more relieved to have known a spell to prevent sunburn on a bald head. The Oasis has been quite unforgiving the past few days, the heat alone has made it near impossible to travel for too long. The horses seem to start panting only after a mile or so. Luckily we have set up camp near a waterfall so there should be plenty of fresh water for everyone. 

Our team has been able to locate several more shards for study, though actually collecting them is proving to be a challenge (heat aside). I proposed we do our excavation in the evening hours as away to avoid heat stroke and dehydration to which everyone unanimously agreed. It seems we will be nocturnal for our extended stay. It does not bother me much, I’ll still be able to visit the fade and explore the memories tucked away here in this desert paradise. I wonder what mysteries lie in wait for me tonight (well this morning to be accurate).

I intend to study the Solasan Temple at dusk in hopes to unlock its history and gain insight on its link to the shards. They are fascinating artifacts. I can only hope more intriguing artifacts are inside.

If only you were here beside me to witness this once great elven ruin. I can almost picture the way your eyes would shine with adoration at its desecrated splendor, or the way your jaw would drop at its grand archways and elegant designs inlaid in the stone. How tempting it would be to take advantage of your distraction to pull you into an unsuspecting kiss. To steal the very breath from your lungs and claim it as my own. How your body would arch into mine as I slide my leg between your thighs and wrap my arm around your waist to anchor you in place. No one would hear the noises you would make as my hands wandered over your bare skin save for myself and the ancient halls that would surround us.

Too tempting.

in hushed whispers,

Solas


	35. Chapter 35*

Solas,

 

~~I was in public as I read your letter and I will have you know that I am~~

~~_Solas you bast_ ~~

~~_I_ ~~

 

The weather here at Skyhold is mild, without a cloud in sight. Much more favorable than the Dales had been. Setting up the initial outpost was successful, but the tensions are high. Too many factions are fighting one another, without so much as a second thought. We attempted to parlay and hold some peace negotiations but were ambushed in the process. (I am fine, not to worry, the Chargers were all present and cleaned up the situation nicely). We returned early, seeing as no one there is willing to hear reason. I can only hope things will smooth over soon. The civil war in Orlais must end at some point. I have a conference with Josie later today about our outpost and 'a pressing matter that needs my attention'. I can only imagine what that must be. As if there aren't enough problems in Thedas at any given moment. 

I am glad to hear your time in the Oasis is going as smoothly as it can be, and that you have devised a routine that won't have you being sent back to me burnt and sun poisoned. Though the thought of you being stranded in bed and subjected to my will is more than enticing to think about. I am embarrassed to admit that I chose the wrong time to read your letter.  I happened to receive it at the Herald's Rest while enjoying a few drinks with the chargers. Needless to say my face betrayed everything and I was thoroughly tortured at my own expense by Bull and his comrades. They did not get to see the contents of the letter but I imagine my reaction was all they needed. 

I will confess I have read your letter more than once, in the privacy of my own chambers where my reactions were safely guarded by stone. 

You must think you are so clever. Two can play that game Solas.

I have often wondered if writing that letter had the same effect on your as it had on me. You must have had to dwell on the idea of us alone, sequestered in that Temple for some time before putting your thoughts on paper. Did you let yourself wonder about what noises I would make? What it would be like to hear the sounds of my delight? How my fingers would dig into the blades of your shoulders or how my breath would stutter in your ear as your lips explored my neck? Did you picture how my back would arch if your hands wandered lower than they ever had in person? What the heat between my thighs actually feels like through the cloth of my leggings? How damp my small clothes might be if you were to linger in that space too long.

I wonder... did you think about how my hands would glide down your back to your hips, and how my thumbs would rub the bare skin found just beneath the hem of your trousers? What kinds of noises would you make if I let my fingers go lower? Would I find you yearning for my touch? Would you grind into my palm if I were to place it where you most desired? How would you react if I loosened the strings of your breeches and l laid you bare for only my eyes to see?

I wonder... have you touched yourself yet while thinking of me...during those nights spent in that Temple with no one but yourself...

 

I wonder if you would tell me.

 

I wonder.

with soft sighs,

Ellana


	36. Chapter 36

Solas,

 

Creators shame me for what I sent to you. I know this letter will reach you after the fact so I cannot ask you not to read the first. I am thoroughly embarrassed at what my drunken mind let me do. (Though you started it, I might add). If my letter made you uncomfortable in any way, please feel free to ignore it. I think I overstepped a boundary, and if I have, I will do everything in my power to make it right.

 

Dread Wolf take me,

 

Ellana


	37. Chapter 37*

Ellana,

I received both letters, one day apart, and read them both. Do not be ashamed for your words, as they have been received with great pleasure. 

 

You wanted to know if I have taken myself while thinking of you? Would it please you to know I have? Or would you be offended to know this?

 

Would your cheeks darken over knowing how I picture us laying together? How I imagine the sounds you would make as I kiss your throat, the valley between your breasts, and over the taut skin of your stomach? That I yearn to know the taste the lips that lay between your thighs? That I yearn to know how you feel, buried deep within you if you would allow. How you might say my name, breathless, wanting, euphoric as I take you, fully, passionately? How you could have me undone with one word alone, one touch, even one glance... Do you know realize the power you wield over me? How I am nothing but yours? How these letters (not just this last one, but all of these letters) of yours I cling to with every fiber of my being? My anchor in this forsaken desert, my own personal oasis. 

Ellana, I would give all of me to you if you only asked. I am not ashamed to admit I think of you constantly, and not just in this context. 

 

I also think of your laugh as you tell a joke that only you find humorous. (Often I miss the punch line, but I blame myself for that, not understanding customs and being, as you like to call me "old"). I think of how you would look in the moonlight here in this oasis, how your skin would glow as brightly as your smile. How you make me feel at home in places I could have never dreamed of settling. How your kindness has made men kneel in ways that force never could. How your empathy has been proven to be stronger than any steel sword could ever be forged to be. How your wonder for this world and its secrets knows no limits, so drastic in comparison to the worldview of the society in this place. 

 

I love you Ellana, and no part of my love for you is shameful. 

 

Even the parts that I take pleasure in alone. 

Ar lath ma,

 

Solas

 


	38. Chapter 38

Solas,

 

If only I had gone with you. Why did I decide to go to Crestwood with Hawke without you? I don't want to spend another moment apart from you, and yet it seems we literally worlds apart right now. What I wouldn't give to be able to fall through a rift into that Oasis right now. I can't capture in words just how deeply how your last letter struck me. I would much rather show you how I feel than make a pathetic attempt to describe it. I want the first time I say that I love you, that you hear those words to be in person. I want to see how you react, to watch your mouth--would you smile? Would you silence me from speaking further with a kiss? Would you show me just how much you love me? Oh Solas, if I let my mind wander on this I will never sleep tonight. I will keep myself up with a thousand fantasies that will only make me more homesick for your touch, as I am sure it is nothing compared to my own that I have to settle with for tonight. 

But you are not here, and I am not there and so words of my love are going to have to do.

Solas, I have loved you for longer than I would like to admit. I didn't realize it until I sent you that tome. I was hopeless, am hopeless. I don't know the first thing about courting. I just knew I wanted to make you feel appreciated, the way you made me feel appreciated. I don't want to be ashamed of my love either, and I feel the need to confess. You should know just how hopeless and lovesick this fool you fell for is. Creators, I am all over the place. Curse this ale, damn you Dorian for convincing me this was a good idea to drink tonight. 

You were one of the first--if not the first--to see me for me, not the Herald or some foolish holy figure head. You saw value where everyone else didn't--I was just some Dalish puppet, or so I felt. But not around you. I know the Dalish did not treat you well, at least the ones you encountered before me. I know my beliefs can be a contention, and I thank you for giving me my space to work out just what I believe after all this. I felt like such an outsider untill I befriended you. I will never be able to portray just how grateful I am for your kindness so early on. I must have seemed like such a nuisance to you, pestering you non stop with questions, following you around in Haven like a lost duckling. I cringe thinking about it sometimes. But you never once spurned me for my presence or my questions. (Cass had little patience for me unfortunately but that's not relevant right now). You stayed by my side and defended me, stood with me on my decisions when I felt my own will waver. I don't know if you realize how much your presence has reassured my strength, has uplifted my spirit. Given me the courage I needed to face all forms of opposition thrown my way. 

You have been a constant rock for me,  your wisdom and counsel I have come to hold close to my heart. It has helped me accept the mantle I now bear. The person I must become. 

Simply because you know the person beneath the mask I have to wear. 

None of this is poetic. Your letter literally had my heart soaring over mountains, and this letter is no where near that level of quality. Sweet Sylaise, forsake this ale. I feel terrible that this is the quality you get in return. Even more reason to return east at the earliest convenience. Please come home soon. I await you, eagerly and longingly, at Skyhold. 

 

With all my heart, 

Ellana

p.s. I don't mean to make you leave your work though!! I know it is important to you and I don't want you to feel like you have to choose between your studies and me. So actually, take your time. I am not going anywhere, and I will be yours whenever you return.


	39. Chapter 39

Ellana,

 

You judge yourself too harshly while you are drinking, and give yourself little credit to the weight of your words. You do not realize how deeply they affect me, the impact they have on my thinking, my existence. You were never a nuisance or burden. I was flattered you sought me out in Haven. I can easily say the same of you, you accepted an apostate, hedge mage, without question, declared I was to be protected against the very organization housing us if anything had gone poorly...not many would risk their well-being for a mage let alone stranger and a mage. But my magic did not deter you from wanting to spend time with me, wanting to get to know me. Many fear magic they cannot control or understand. Not many have such an open mind to matters of the arcane as you do. Nor did you spurn me for being Elven but not Dalish. You recognize my beliefs, respect my thoughts, and genuinely want to hear what I have to say... You surprised me then, continue to surprise me even now with your openness to all things foreign to you.

I cherish every letter I receive, and I promise they have just as much of an impact on me as my letters have on you. Your words get me through even the most lonely of nights in this desert. I count down the days until our return East. I have requested to be on the next caravan back to Skyhold, I think you should know. I have collected as much information and data as I could with the amount of shards we had. I will have to return West once we have more to unlock the secrets of Solasan further. I hope on that day you choose to join me. I hope your venture to Crestwood was a success. I look forward to hearing what you have discovered about the disappearance of the Wardens. I also am looking forward to meeting this infamous Hawke I have heard so much about from Varric and his book. 

 

I eagerly look forward to reuniting with you. I hope I can show you just how important you are to me, my love.

 

Ar lath ma,

Solas

p.s. Tales of the Champion can not possibly or plausibly be an actual account of the events in Kirkwall.... can it?


	40. Chapter 40

Solas,

 

You've read Tales of the Champion?! I know exactly what we are doing our first night together once you return from the Oasis. BOOK CLUB NIGHTS ARE OFFICIALLY ON AGAIN. (Among other things I intend for us).

 

Of course it depicts what happened! It's romanticized, obviously. We both know Varric. But I think the key elements are based in truth. You could also ask Hawke yourself about their experiences. Hawke is a fascinating story-teller. Not quite as dramatic as Varric, but if you get the two of them together to tag team a story.... Creators preserve you. You won't be able to breathe or feel your sides from laughing so hard. I certainly hope Hawke decides to stay with the Inquisition after we figure out the mystery of the Wardens. I have so much to tell you! I must keep what I know a secret for now, if someone were to intercept our letters it would mean disaster. I can't explain here, but when you finally return home I promise I will tell you everything!

 

A few things I know I can mention might come as a surprise to you. The Inquisition has been formally invited to a Masquerade being held at the Winter Palace in Halamshiral, informally, it's peace negotiations for the Orlesian Civil war. There have been rumors that Empress Celene's life may be in danger. Our presence is being requested to "investigate" and "Keep the peace". I will keep my opinions to myself until I can speak with you in person, as I have Many I would like to discuss on this matter. 

In other news, Dorian's father has contacted one of the Chantry sisters, who has then contacted me about how to handle it. I immediately informed Dorian, as he is rightfully to the one who should decide how matters are carried out. He is in much distress over this. I hate to see him so upset. I let Bull know he isn't doing so well, and to make sure he doesn't drink himself into oblivion when I'm not around. If you could speak to him when you return, I think he would really appreciate it. You can tell him I told you, to be honest, he probably already thinks I've told you everything--which I haven't! I will let him fill you in on the details. He admires and in some ways looks up to you. You might not notice it, the way he debates you on pretty much everything pertaining to magic, but he takes what you say in stride. I've even heard him defend points you made to him, adopting them as his own or fusing his theories in with yours with some of our sheltered mages.

Lastly, I recruited an Arcanist, and I absolutely CANNOT wait for you to meet her. 

Oh the debates that are going to ensue, I can hardly wait!!

 

With love and anticipation,

 

Ellana


	41. Chapter 41

_*There are several passages scribbled out, and ink splotches that make some of the text unreadable--as if written hurriedly with a sloppy hand._

 

 

Solas,

 

~~WHAT WAS~~

 

~~HOW DID WE~~

 

~~WE CAN DO THAT IN THE FADE~~

 

Hi. I don't even know how to start this letter, but if I don't write it down I will forget to ask all my questions. I just hope I stay awake long enough to get the words onto paper. 

 

1\. HOW DID I FIND YOU IN A DREAM. WHY AM I ABLE TO DO THIS?

~~3. 2. HELP I'M PANICKING~~

2\. I thought only special kinds of mages could walk in dreams as if awake--I'm not a mage!! How is this possible? 

3\. I was able to _touch_ you ~~(among other things)~~ , and it felt _real_ \--how is that possible?

4\. What ruin were we in? I didn't recognize it

5\. Was that statue in the center Mythal?

6\. ~~Eluva Eluvien~~ Eluvians?

 

I know you are only two days out from Skyhold, ~~and sending this might seem silly, but I just~~   I eagerly await your return. Please know I will have a more concise and coherent list of questions when I'm fully awake for you to answer. 

 

Love,

Ellana


	42. Chapter 42

Ellana,

The uniforms have arrived for the trip to Halamshiral. They are...... how do I put this politely,  _stuffy._ _(_ Yes, you missed my fitting. No I will not be putting it on again until I absolutely must.) I understand you were intending the design to regal and formidable, and to that I will attest—they will have quite the desired impact. But, I believe Dorian has a few choice opinions on the matter, and I believe he will articulate them with much more flair than could I, so I will leave it to him to speak on my behalf (And he will).

Your presence is deeply missed, not only by me. Cole has been more agitated the past few days. He visits often and watches the murals I paint come to life. I offered to give him materials to create on his own but he quietly declines. He searches for you in places I wouldn’t think of and finds pieces of you in many things. He leaves these pieces for me on my desk; a pearl fallen from its brooch, or a ribbon torn from a book. I’ll show you the collection upon your return.

I don’t mind the company. His presence is a welcomed one. Visitors do not often come to the rotunda on their own accord, save for you that is. Which makes me miss you all the more. 

Come back home safely, my love.

Solas

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this on my train ride home from my new job!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Will update daily (as part of my own little daily writing challenge)


End file.
